Super-Duper Wacky n' Tacky Euro Adventure

...At the apartment is usually completely prepared by Iosef because Marina usually works until late into the night and sometimes is not even home for the usual dinner time of about 8PM. I have no complaints about Iosef’s cooking; everything is edible, usually tastes good and occasionally is surprisingly tasty. Then again he is no five-star chef. Sometimes I wonder about what is put in front of me. But I always smile, say spasiba, and happily eat my meal. From what I hear, however, nobody’s host family has any five-star chefs in it. Usually breakfast is porridge (which has a common Russian name that I just can’t remember right now), bread, sliced cheese, sliced meet, and a steaming cup of instant coffee. I’m no fan of the instant coffee, but honestly there are few other ways to better get your day started than what I usually have in the morning. The porridge is everything that porridge shouldn’t be: yummy, not lumpy, and not too filling.

At school we are let out for lunch at noon after three exhausting hours of Russian and getting a quality meal is usually the last thing on our minds. Luckily I missed the initial trip to McDonalds which happened one of the first couple of days. Apparently every food item is exactly the same, including the spelling, which is simply translated to Syrillic, but not necessarily anything understandable in the Russian language (ЂИГ MAK). So we usually head to corner grocery store which is big enough to have some prepared foods perfect for lunch, but also small enough to have most of those foods taste similar to the smell I get when Roni and Beni wake me up with their tongues in the morning. I am desperately trying to get us to venture out a bit farther for food, even just maybe a blini stand for crying out loud.

Back at the apartment I have yet to get home at a usual hour because I am always doing something after school until very late. So I usually walk in on dinner or eat after everyone else. Iosef likes me to start off with “salad” which is usually sliced tomatoes, onions, and other unidentifiable vegetables. The salad is covered with dressing which does not even try to hide the fact that it is just plain mayonnaise over vegetables. Mayo has a lot of uses in Russia. The other night I had a pizza that Marina made that had a white sauce instead of the usual marinara. After much probing, I successfully identified the sauce as none other than mayo. Any who, dinner always has a lot of carbs; pasta, rice, (tonight it was pasta AND rice) potatoes, whatever. Not exactly the healthiest foods, but I figure this is a staple because of the relatively inexpensive $ to calorie ratio which is unfortunately on the mind of most Russians. Fortunately the carb-fest is always accompanied with some kind of meat. A small portion, but with the carbs and salad, a full meal is easily accomplished. Never leave the table after finishing the food, because the mandatory cup of piping hot tea must be drank. There is much sugar and cookies too accompany the tea as it aids the digestion of the recently consumed meal. More than anything, tea after dinner is a great time to discuss anything with my host family, or simply watch the latest sports report and try really hard to understand. Usually doesn’t work too well.

Go Dinamo!